Importance of choice

The standard situation: a married couple is divorced and, if you listen to both sides, it turns out that both monsters are somehow. According to his wife, he is a careless husband, henpecked, mother-in-law son, who lives at home like a hotel, and in general “he is shaking me straight”. According to her husband, she is a blatant hysteric, a bad mistress, a stupid gossip girl, a boorish person and a self-serving predator.
Learned? This we often hear from people who choose each other of their own accord. They were not convicted, were not under anesthesia or in a delusional state. They made their choice, lived side by side for some time and suddenly ... The fact is that "suddenly" does not happen. We notice all these negative qualities in our halves after the first months of living together.
There is no way that a sweet, homely, intelligent girl went to bed, and a self-serving, wayward hysterical woman woke up. The fact is that until some time we just don’t want to notice all this. Then a reasonable question arises: why do we tolerate?
Love life with such a negative character can not be called life, but its own inertia, conformism and ordinary self-interest explains a lot. Here the girl married a big love, after a year the love subsided a bit, gray days began, work-home-work began. A woman wants a holiday and doesn’t care that her beloved husband is torn in two jobs and creeps home on autopilot! She so wants and point. And she wants this, because the girl is supposed to want!
Look at her friends all smoothly: and wealth, and her husband with flowers at the ready every weekend, and her mother-in-law came across - an angel in the flesh. Girlfriends give expensive gifts, do not care that sometimes their husbands give up, but the ring after such a beating is provided. And our girl begins to get angry at the whole world and complain about the bitter fate of the villain, who dragged her into this trap.
The girl blames the whole world in their troubles, periodically throwing in scandals and secretly dreaming about a fur coat and rest abroad (after all, they have already gone three times, she alone sits in the country house). And what does the husband do at this time?
Every day he comes later, in order not to run into another scandal, he hangs out with his friends almost every day, because in their society he feels free as before.
The bottom line: two unfortunate people who hate each other and two broken lives. If the couple lived with each other a little longer, would have had time to get used to getting married and get to know everything that is waiting for them, then they would not be in a hurry like that in the registry office.
When you accept a firm desire to bind your destinies, take responsibility for each other, try to pronounce controversial situations, and if it is time to disperse, you shouldn’t humiliate yourself and your partner, even the former.


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