What is guest marriage and how is it dangerous?
Over the past few decades, the topic of living together without official registration of the relationship has been subjected to constant attacks from the conservatives. But the world does not stand still, constantly evolving, and the relationship between a man and a woman has long ceased to be of the same type. Civil marriage has long become a common phenomenon for young people, and older people have become increasingly choosing for themselves a guest option. What is it, and is it good, let's try to figure it out.
Together, but separately
For a start, of course, it is worth explaining what constitutes a guest or extraterritorial marriage. These are relations that are officially registered, but in which the spouses live in different cities or even countries, coming alternately to each other for a certain period. They, as a rule, meet for joint celebrations, holidays, weekends, but the way of life of the spouses is separate.
This form of relationship in most cases is characteristic of older people, those who took place financially and is an absolutely independent person.In this case, guest marriage is a great way to enjoy the company of a loved one, being rid of domestic problems.
Opponents of such relations argue that this is no more than the union of two egoists, people who do not want to leave their own comfort zone, to be afraid of duties and responsibilities. Of course, the extraterritorial marriage has its positive and negative sides, and only by penetrating into their essence can conclusions be drawn.
Let's start with the pros:
- Lack of routine. Life kills feelings, many are sure. That is why people who value them often choose this form of relationship. There is no need to adapt to a partner, to solve common household issues and problems, to manage the economy. Do not irritate the partner's habits, the constant need to be torn between home, work and favorite pursuits. That is, the absence of a routine in this case = no problems.
- Every meeting is a holiday. Many romantic dates of couples united in a traditional marriage, already 20 minutes after the start, boil down to talking about the same life and problems. In the guest marriage spouses are not seen so often, so they manage to get bored one after the other, which significantly stirs interest.
- Telephone communication is always pleasant and interesting, and meetings are filled with joy and pleasure. And what can we say about sex.
- Ideality of perception. Well, I must say that this is an undoubted advantage. After all, a woman will never see her man untidy, in family trunks, flipping seeds in front of the TV, and the chosen one will never appear before her husband in an old dressing gown and curlers. Each time it is beautiful, slowly selected outfits, cosmetic procedures done on time, enough time and no tension. Is not this the ideal husband and wife?
- Personal space. Perhaps this feature of guest marriage is especially respected by business people and creative people. Everyone does his job without causing inconvenience to another, and does not have to make a choice - family or work / hobby.
But if everything was so rosy, most modern people would probably choose this form of relationship. But such in Europe, there are only 10%.
What are the cons?
- Parenting. Undoubtedly, children are born in extraterritorial marriages, but over time the question of their full development arises.After all, a child needs both parents, and not only on holidays. And in this case, the main responsibilities for his education fall on the shoulders of mom.
- Lack of home comfort. Living in two cities or two countries, and not having a common home, the spouses deprive themselves of real comfort, which is possible only if both contribute to it. Joint purchases, repairs, arrangement of their "nest" in this case disappear.
- Inadequate support. When people live under the same roof, they experience some kind of confusion and problems together, they empathize, of course, they understand each other better and can always count on the support of the second half.
But in the case when every man is married for himself, one should not hope for solidarity in difficult situations and maximum emotional closeness. Of course, there are exceptions, and I would like them to become the rule, rather than rare cases.
- Feeling lonely. It’s not cool, but there will always be happy families with children, having a good time, couples, men meeting their loved ones from work to go shopping together. All this to a certain extent affects the psychological state, and people begin to feel lonely. After all, the spouse seems to be there, but rarely there are nearby.
So to be or not to be? Choosing a comfortable relationship is the right of everyone, and if for you this is a guest marriage, then let him be happy. After all, love is obedient not only to all ages, but also to any distances and partings.
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